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The Simplicity Of Life

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cats6

Life can be so simple, if only everyone would appreciate what they have and not what they do not have.  My heart aches for my friend who’ve just been abandoned by her husband.  Being alone in Canada, she wonders if she can saved the marriage but no matter what she said or what she did, her husband was reluctant to let go of the other woman.  Is it because she is younger? prettier? more adventurous? or what is it? I feel pain for my friend because she must be the nicest woman I’ve met thus far after migrating.

She don’t even want to fight her husband for anything, because she claims that she still cares for him but what about him, he doesn’t care how she feels anymore nor that she is hurting so bad, she had lost so much weight and had been crying non-stop for months now.  What makes a man turn this way you asked? I guess it is possible to fall out of love, afterall, I’ve fallen out of love before but there was no kids involved and I guess that is what she lost in – no kids.  But it’s not like she wasn’t trying, she just couldn’t have any or her womb wasn’t strong enough.

As a friend, I try to encourage her, try to empathize with her, try to help her but what more can I do? it’s really up to her to stand up and be strong.  Although, it’s easier said than done, she needs to let go of her past and live for now.

Are You Happy?

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Yes! it’s pretty simple right?  you would think so but nope some people refused to do what is necessary to make them happy and liveable.   Life is short !  live for today peeps!!  don’t waste time worry about what people think.

Breakfast In Italy

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breakkie

For some people it’s a dream job – for others it can be quite taxing on any relationship.  So people asked me all the time – how does our relationship survived with the spouse traveling so much.  I think it’s great because he does his things and when he comes home – it’s a huge romantic get together again – and even with children – i have to say we still have it together.

Some asked me if I am worried that he may have a girlfriend at every port  – and to tell you that I don’t – that’s a lie – that’s why I go visit unannounced every now and then – that way I would know if he has a girlfriend.  It’s not a matter of trust  – it’s a matter of being smart.  If you don’t care or if you don’t demand that he is faithful then he won’t be faithful.  The spouse knows what he will be up for if he was cheating on us (not just me – but the kids) and really I doubt he wants to start all over again  – too lazy to start another relationship and have children all over again – hahah!

Restoration Work

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mansion

In love with old historical houses, I find it really interesting when I see one being restored and restored well.  This isn’t my place but a place out in Clare – and I had seen the before pictures and after a year of working on it – this is the outcome.  I really liked what I saw – so if you have the money – you can turn a historical home around and give it a new look.  I loved that there are so many of these kind of houses that one can put their money on – unfortunately, not much money there is – in investing but it’s a good feeling of accomplishment. We have been thinking a little about investing in the properties here – but I’m not too keen because that would only mean that we are stuck here and not being able to traveling as much as we want.  Plus mutual funds seems safe and easy ?

Volunteering In The Hospital

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Just started doing volunteering work at the local hospital and we’ve been tasked to do several things already.  From looking after the gift store to pushing cpu cart from one department to another and also working in the cafeteria.   I loved doing this a couple of hours every week – the only thing I don’t like doing is going up on the wards.  Helping out at the doctor’s office or filing in the administrative office and even at the carpark – I have no problems at all.  The reason why I don’t like helping out in the wards is because I don’t want to do anything wrong or bump into a patient and I don’t know how to answer their questions.  So for now  – I’m happy to be doing all the easy work.  I think it is a priviledge to volunteer at the hospital – gives me a sense of giving back to society.

A Bit Of Gold

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cats

Yes, a wee bit of gold in your food – as you can see on the plate – they are really made of gold and are to be stirred around and then you can eat them and enjoy.  A symbol of prosperity so I heard the friend said.  When I was little my grandparents used to say how they go out with their co-workers and eat a bit of gold to have a better year.  I don’t know how true it is but I’m pretty sure I didn’t feel any richer eating that little bit of gold a few weeks ago – but you know how superstition runs high in the Chinese culture – so I went a long like a good ole friend.

Joe

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Joe is my beetle – my car and thinking back I never thought I would own my car outright because back home buying a car was pretty expensive and like they say at home that it’s more expensive to own a car than to feed a wife and a few kids.  Yes, the crazy COE (Certificate of Entitlement) that one has to buy before owning your own car. Well, actually – the huge amount of taxes incurred is to discouraged people to own their own car as home is a small place and the government is trying to reduce pollution.

Anyhow, Joe had been with me for many years now and he had ferried my kids to and fro to school and to music lessons as well as tae-kwon-do lessons. When I bought Joe – I didn’t want a girlie car because of my kids – I didn’t want to embarrass my kids – so I bought a car that I was comfortable with but not a girlie color.  I also did not dress Joe up or go crazy with stuff animals like some of my friends did with their cars.  But it is about time Joe retires and I get another car as for the last few years – we have been paying a lot to keep Joe in shape and so much so – I’m getting worried about bringing Joe out on long drive to the city.

I’m not sentimental about my car but Joe had afterall, served us for many years and seen me thru’ my good days and bad ones – Joe also faithfully kept me warm while I wait for the spouse’s plane to land everytime he had a long trip.  I’ve spilled coffee on Joe and he never complained and although I’m OCD at home, I’m quite relax with Joe and not too worried about getting Joe dirty with soccer shoes or snow boots from the kids.   But all good things must come to an end and I’ve asked the spouse to bring Joe to the garage as soon as we found me another trusty friend on the road. Good bye Joe – you have been a good friend.

Church Choir

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All my kids joined the church choir as soon as they turned 13, this year my youngest who is in junior high also asked to join the choir and like her brother she wanted to play the  guitar and sing in the choir.   The spouse and I of course had no problem with it because we’ve always encouraged our kids to do what they think fits them well but my youngest also plays the piano and the organ, so I wanted to know why she wouldn’t play the piano or the organ for the church choir instead.  Her answer?  pretty simple – she thinks she would look so cool playing the guitar instead and she wants to improve her skills in playing the guitar.

My youngest don’t have a formal training with the guitar, she learned it from her oldest brother who currently is in college and in the city and other times I think she depended on the internet for other guitar techniques.  She learned to tune the guitar from the internet and all my kids buys most of their guitar picks and strings online too since we don’t have a music shop in town.   I’m pretty impressed when my kids play their musical instruments  together during family gatherings and weddings and when they were younger, we used to make them play for relatives and friends who visits from away. Friends and family members would be so impressed they always encouraged us to do more with their musical talent but unlike Asian parents, I tend to be pretty lax with music.  I’ve always felt that music should be enjoyed and not forced upon and I’m happy that all my kids loved music.

So coming back to the church choir and her guitar playing for the choir, I’ve been told that there were already several boys playing the guitar for the choir and that she was welcome to play the same instrument but they would prefer that she plays the back up organ instead.  Now how do you tell the kid that?  when she was pretty enthusiastic about playing the guitar?  Well, I had to do what every parents would do – the truth, so I talked to my 13 years old and she wasn’t happy at all – that’s for sure but encouraged her to bring her guitar for church camps and for sunday school and volunteer to play for the sunday school instead if she preferred.  So it was a happy ending for my 13 years old because tomorrow, she will be playing her guitar for the sunday school.

BuonGiorno From Italy

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brekkie

No I wasn’t in Italy – but the spouse was there and we had skype one morning while he was having breakfast and getting ready to go for a meeting with an associate.   People asked me all the time about this long distance relationship we have and I’ve often wondered myself how in the world did I survived.  Was it because I trust the spouse so much and have no worries that he is not here all the time or is it because the children occupies all my time? or I’m so confident about myself – there is no way he would stray and that I’m so good that no other woman would interest him intellectually and emotionally?

The children does take up a lot of my time but they are all almost old enough to take care of themselves and when they were younger I couldn’t just leave them with nannies or their grandparents – it’s just not in my upbringing and I loved my kids too much.  As for being so intellectual – or good in bed – I doubt so – so how do we survived?  I think it’s because he is a good person – and I don’t think he would do anything to hurt the family plus I think he too is too busy with work to even make an effort to woo another woman – afterall, you and I know that wooing a woman takes time and money.

Is the art of a relationship about trusting the spouse ?  I don’t think that is enough – as an expat wife, one should always keep track of what the spouse is doing and where he is.  As an expat wife, you should always be independent, you have to be smart, you have to know how to take care of yourself besides the family.  Never leave all your finances to your spouse because you never know if something does happen – you will be able to take care of yourself.  Always stay on top of what your spouse is doing and his work as well – and don’t forget his friends and co-workers.  And since my spouse travels so much for work, I try not to complain so much when we do talk – of course, that does not mean that you don’t tell him anything but you just have to time it right – when he is home.

I’ve seen men traveling for business in another country straying and having a another life altogether when they are on business – so once in a while you have to drop everything and go where the spouse is – or be in contact with the concierge there.  Lucky for me, being in the hotel industry for 15 years, I’m still very much in contact with some concierge internationally.  As expat wife, you have to have your antennae up all the time – yet not let the spouse see that you have your feelers up – a very tricky situation but even after being married for ages, I never let my guard down, I’m on top of things all the time.