I was at the local supermarket tonight when the cashier – a young girl asked me where I was from. I asked her to guess – and she replied she didn’t know. My youngest quickly answered her and told her I was from Asia – and she in turn told me that her father was from Vietnam. Now this is a young girl who looked nothing like an Asian – I would never have guessed she had an Asian father.
I asked her if she had been to Vietnam before – in which she replied that she haven’t but would love to explore. I certainly hope she does visit Vietnam sometime in the near future – and visit her extended family and take in the culture and history of her original roots. And I thought of my own children – they too needs to visit Asia soon – and learn about their roots too – even though they are only half Asian – I feel responsible to expose them with the different culture I was brought up on.
Surprising the spouse never once spoke against my believes and culture that I still practice here in the West – and for that I am truly grateful. Even though he is not big on me instilling my believes on the children – he never did really stop me – but he also do not insist that the children have the same belief as I. We have differences – not all are good – nor all are bad – but it’s really good to know half your roots – and I strongly encourage parents like myself – an Asian – to bring your children home before they get way too old – to try and listen.
It’s funny how when you are older – a lot older you remember things of the past and you understand a little bit better why things were the way they were. A little bit of history and the past isn’t a bad thing especially when it makes you a little wiser now and then you try and impact this little knowledge to your children gently without imposing on them nor make them think that you want to control their lives. Or is it possible to do that with your teens?
Anyhow, when I was young, my mother used to have a regular visitor – an uncle – lets call him Uncle J. Uncle J is not a real uncle – he is just a childhood friend of my moms and he visited us once in a while. I can assure you there was nothing going on with my mom and Uncle J – my mom was like an older sister to him. But of course, living in a Asian culture and society, the neighbors tend to talk and gossip but that didn’t stop me from being nice to Uncle J who brings me and my mom out for lunch or dinner at KFC and even for Teochew porridge at this big chinese restaurant that I loved so much.
I liked Uncle J despite the fact that he drinks a lot, most likely because he was a fatherly figure I never had. I also liked people to think that I’m his daughter when we did go out to eat – it made me feel important, therefore, with my children I made sure that my spouse took as much interest in my kids as I do – and that they have a special bond with him. I made the spouse take care of them and do stuff for them when he is in town and to drive them for hockey practices and ballet for the girls.
I’ve lost touch with Uncle J ever since I moved to Canada but I’m grateful to him for the many times he made me feel special – a kid with no father to look up to. He didn’t take advantage of us and I’m grateful for that.
A girlfriend asked me the other day if I wanted to stay connected to someone we both know from way back when we first started work in the same hotel. I really don’t mind keeping in touch with long time friends – but if the friend is of the opposite sex and had an interest in you a long time ago – do I really want to open a can of worms? after all – I’m already with kids and with someone else – would I be causing trouble to his marriage? or would it bring back some not so nice memory for him? I thought about it carefully for a few days – and as much as I would love to keep in touch and find out how he was doing – I don’t want to upset my lifestyle now – after all – that guy was crazy about me – when I was younger. People say one can still be friends – if you are not lovers – you think is true? I won’t dare to tempt fate – as it is – I think I’m doing pretty well.
As I sit here looking at the pictures I had taken a few days ago – and how many times I have been to Bangkok for work and with other people and even the spouse once before this trip – I realized that things had changed not only for the same place but us – as a couple. Looking at the magnificent statue and Imperial Palace in Bangkok – I have mixed feelings about going home for good or even 6 months in Asia and another in Canada.
Motorbikes are seen everywhere in Bangkok and it’s not a 2 person transport here – it’s the entire family. Yes – the entire family of 4 – sometimes even 5 can sit on this bike.
And even with food in Bangkok – the street food are still the best and darn cheap. The friends wouldn’t eat here – but me and the spouse – we just loved sitting with the locals and chomping away. I think they are amused to see a westerner eat with them.
It’s Sunday here in Canada and my girlfriend who is currently in Hong Kong called to tell me about her market experience in Hong Kong and also my favorite pomelo that we used to get together when we were younger and working in Hong Kong together before migrating. Those were the days – where we would go for “yum cha” in the morning – take a morning walk in the wet market and watch as the people go about their busy life. In Hong Kong – Sundays has got to be the busiest – because family and friends take the opportunity to spend time together. Whether to shop for lunch or just to go shopping for clothing or watch a show – or just hang out at Yau Ma Teh – or Chong Wan (Central) – it was buzzing with life. Unlike here in our town – it’s very quiet – I didn’t think I would miss the hustle and bustle of Sunday mornings in Hong Kong – but I do – time to make a trip home soon and refresh those memories and quench thirst for home cooked food.
The spouse who is currently in Indonesia for work – visited my favorite munchie store – and tried some of my favorite munchie that I loved when I am in Indonesia.
I loved the ones with the gula melaka in it and not the coconut ones – but you could have the ones with peanuts too – if you wished. These are really yummy and light – and anyone would love it – because they melt in your mouth. I remembered my mom buying them for us after going to church every Saturday.
What I wouldn’t give to have a bowl of noodles from home and in a hawker center. Seriously, if you had asked me 25 years ago – I would tell you I won’t miss a bowl of hawker center noodles from Tsim Sha Tsui but today in this cold winter morning – I could use some of this for breakfast. Noodles are the staple food for us Asian – my kids eat lots of it – even more than rice. But a bowl of Chinese noodles like this one – is the ultimate taste of Chinese cooking and even though my mom used to say not to drink the soup because they are full of MSG – I wouldn’t mind drinking them now.
As i sit here in front of my computer at 3am in the morning – I told myself – that even though I am in Canada, I still missed the arty farty stuff that I loved so much before migrating here. I missed the traveling and wonder what it would have been like if I haven’t come to Canada to be with my spouse? would i have continued work in Hong Kong and do what I do best?
Life is less complicated here in Canada and I liked that a lot – there is no rat race here – everyone is very laid back and even though the spouse travels a lot for work – he too is quite laid back when he is home. I only cook for my kids and myself and the spouse – well, he takes care of himself. Overall, I cannot say I have it bad – but I wished I could go to museums, visit the opera and the symphony – and of course travel more. I loved the dressing up and missed that a lot but even if I could turn the clock back – I wouldn’t change my mind in coming to Canada else I won’t have such a lovely family. But yes the arty farty part in me – misses all the arty farty stuff.
I didn’t go home – silly – it was the spouse who was there on a business trip – sent by his office but of course – we can’t afford to travel that extensively unless it was the company paying it. To tell you the truth – if it wasn’t that long a trip – I would have made the spouse change his business class ticket to economy class – so that i can go home for a visit – darn! But that’s alright – he took loads of pictures for me and brought back lots of food from Asia. One thing good about having a traveling spouse eh. Anyhow ! the spouse was in Sentosa Island and they have a Hard Rock Cafe there! OMG! Singapore is growing and expanding so much – the next time we fly home – I won’t even recognize the small island of ours.
It was love at first sight – when we arrived at our hotel in Kota Kinabula – what a beautiful sight – what gracious people. I told the spouse I would love to retire in KK as it is fondly called. Modern yet it kept its history – warm hospitality with long white beaches, great place for snorkeling and tropical rain forests for those who wants to get out of the city and relax.
KK is a very touristy place now – and everywhere you go – are people on vacation – shopping, eating and relaxing under beautiful weather. I don’t think you can find many places like Kota Kinabula anymore in Asia. It’s not expensive to take a vacation in KK nor is it too crowded for me.The spouse and I spent many hours at the Loft – sipping wine and watching the day go by – bliss! We met up with friends and spent many hours catching up – I can’t wait to go back to KK again. Farewell KK for now – I’ll be back soon.
