I’m using the general term Chinese – for all Asians and American for all those not in Asia – as in Canada, Europe and even Saudi Arabia because when one thinking of marry overseas – people usually think about a Chinese marrying an American.  I don’t know about others who got married to Westerners but I do have a relatively good life here – I have a spouse who takes care of the money aspect of the house and raising of the kids.  The kids and I always have food on the table, we travel quite often and I have to say that I don’t really need to worry about superstitions and tradition that I would have to endure and carry on for the sake of being a Chinese.

Everything is very nontraditional here, even my in-laws don’t expect anything out from us nor do they need for me to cook for them or clean after them.  I do not have to smile if I am upset with my relatives here nor do I need to be subservient because I’m the wife or woman at home, I speak whatever that is in my mind and my spouse don’t stop me from saying or doing anything.

Of course, marry overseas can be very hard emotionally and the food aspect can be a hard part too – you do not get the traditional food that you want from home no matter how you try to cook them yourself.  As for our love life and sex life – the Western man is definitely more sensitive and don’t demand nor expect you to perform like a sex slave.  The appreciate you when you are in bed with them and they are grateful that you are bearing their kids (but this is from my own biased experience).  Overall, my experiences had been good – but I’ve heard other stories as well, so don’t just judge the book by its cover because every book has a different story.

When a friend or an extended family is sick, it’s very important to lend a hand and to show support because they go thru’ so much during times like that.  No one wants to get sick nor feel sick – or do they want to trouble anyone but any kind of illness is very taxing not only to the person that is ill but also to the entire family and friends – especially if you have Mesothelioma cancer or any kind of cancer.

My grandmother died of cancer when I was very young, she was in the hospital for months – while my aunt on the other hand died very quickly of cancer.  It was pretty hard on us all when they died, the shock, being angry and not having enough rest because we had to visit them twice everyday was pretty taxing.  We didn’t get the support we wanted when we were kids, therefore, when a friend or family member is ill this way, I try my best to do whatever I can to support them.  Food for the family, taking turns to visit them in the hospital or babysitting the kids – or doing laundry for the family, cleaning the house or checking if they needed bills to be paid or things to be mended.  Yes, I do all that – some said it’s crazy but I don’t think it is – I think it’s most important to lend a helping hand in times like that.  What about you? would you go beyond your call of duty to help a friend and an extended family?

A friend visited us from afar and brought some lovely caviar for me because she knows I loved them.  So we made some lovely linguini pasta with olive oil and served them for dinner. I’ve so many friends from all over the world and am so blessed by everyone of them, some I’ve known for ages and others a few years and as much as I treasure all of them, I don’t get to see them as often as I want.

Some friends asked why I don’t call them when I am in their country but when I travel it’s mostly with the spouse and our schedule mostly depends on him – since he is on business and I do try to connect with all my friends whenever I travel but with only 24hrs a day with jetlag and all – it can be quite hard.  So I’m very grateful whenever friends from afar visit and remember to bring me something I liked.

I pride myself for eating well, so I don’t understand why I’m always onto something, from stomach problems, to heel pain and this week a bad sinus attack!  What the hell right?  I eat lots of veggies, very little junk food and try as best as I can to limit myself to food that has lots of oil or has high cholesterol.   I eat lots of fish and very little meat and yet I put on weight like there is no tomorrow – darn!  I don’t eat cakes or sweets or sugar – so what is wrong with my diet.  I think I might just have to start with a light soup with little noodles and veggie diet soon.

The spouse is traveling again of course !  and this time he is in Memphis.  They are having a Music Fest this weekend and as you can see here – things are getting set up for the long weekend.  Not many people were out yet in the afternoon but come tonight – this road will be packed.  I’ve been to Beale Street in Memphis and I’ve been to many event there before settling in Canada.  For those who envy the spouse for traveling around the globe – don’t ! because it’s a lot of hard work and very little glamor.

They say the way to the man’s heart is thru’ his tummy – so when we were kids, my mom and grams used to encourage us to learn how to cook.  They say once you know how to cook, you will keep your spouse happy and at home and he won’t be out looking for other woman or her cooking.  If only it was that simple right?  I may not cook the food that the spouse like but I sure make good home made ice – cream that he cannot resist.

This year however, I insisted that I get wined and dined for our anniversary because I refused to not celebrate all the years that I had been with him.  You know it’s hard work being with a man who is not home all the time and I have to fend for myself and the kids!  so yes, he better buy me a huge anniversary gift this year too!  Some music would be nice and dancing too.

]]> http://www.locombia.org/2012/04/anniversary/feed/ 0