All my kids joined the church choir as soon as they turned 13, this year my youngest who is in junior high also asked to join the choir and like her brother she wanted to play the  guitar and sing in the choir.   The spouse and I of course had no problem with it because we’ve always encouraged our kids to do what they think fits them well but my youngest also plays the piano and the organ, so I wanted to know why she wouldn’t play the piano or the organ for the church choir instead.  Her answer?  pretty simple – she thinks she would look so cool playing the guitar instead and she wants to improve her skills in playing the guitar.

My youngest don’t have a formal training with the guitar, she learned it from her oldest brother who currently is in college and in the city and other times I think she depended on the internet for other guitar techniques.  She learned to tune the guitar from the internet and all my kids buys most of their guitar picks and strings online too since we don’t have a music shop in town.   I’m pretty impressed when my kids play their musical instruments  together during family gatherings and weddings and when they were younger, we used to make them play for relatives and friends who visits from away. Friends and family members would be so impressed they always encouraged us to do more with their musical talent but unlike Asian parents, I tend to be pretty lax with music.  I’ve always felt that music should be enjoyed and not forced upon and I’m happy that all my kids loved music.

So coming back to the church choir and her guitar playing for the choir, I’ve been told that there were already several boys playing the guitar for the choir and that she was welcome to play the same instrument but they would prefer that she plays the back up organ instead.  Now how do you tell the kid that?  when she was pretty enthusiastic about playing the guitar?  Well, I had to do what every parents would do – the truth, so I talked to my 13 years old and she wasn’t happy at all – that’s for sure but encouraged her to bring her guitar for church camps and for sunday school and volunteer to play for the sunday school instead if she preferred.  So it was a happy ending for my 13 years old because tomorrow, she will be playing her guitar for the sunday school.

]]> http://www.locombia.org/2012/02/church-choir/feed/ 0 http://www.locombia.org/2012/02/buongiorno-from-italy/ http://www.locombia.org/2012/02/buongiorno-from-italy/#comments Fri, 03 Feb 2012 02:05:57 +0000 Chilli Padi http://www.locombia.org/?p=1546

No I wasn’t in Italy – but the spouse was there and we had skype one morning while he was having breakfast and getting ready to go for a meeting with an associate.   People asked me all the time about this long distance relationship we have and I’ve often wondered myself how in the world did I survived.  Was it because I trust the spouse so much and have no worries that he is not here all the time or is it because the children occupies all my time? or I’m so confident about myself – there is no way he would stray and that I’m so good that no other woman would interest him intellectually and emotionally?

The children does take up a lot of my time but they are all almost old enough to take care of themselves and when they were younger I couldn’t just leave them with nannies or their grandparents – it’s just not in my upbringing and I loved my kids too much.  As for being so intellectual – or good in bed – I doubt so – so how do we survived?  I think it’s because he is a good person – and I don’t think he would do anything to hurt the family plus I think he too is too busy with work to even make an effort to woo another woman – afterall, you and I know that wooing a woman takes time and money.

Is the art of a relationship about trusting the spouse ?  I don’t think that is enough – as an expat wife, one should always keep track of what the spouse is doing and where he is.  As an expat wife, you should always be independent, you have to be smart, you have to know how to take care of yourself besides the family.  Never leave all your finances to your spouse because you never know if something does happen – you will be able to take care of yourself.  Always stay on top of what your spouse is doing and his work as well – and don’t forget his friends and co-workers.  And since my spouse travels so much for work, I try not to complain so much when we do talk – of course, that does not mean that you don’t tell him anything but you just have to time it right – when he is home.

I’ve seen men traveling for business in another country straying and having a another life altogether when they are on business – so once in a while you have to drop everything and go where the spouse is – or be in contact with the concierge there.  Lucky for me, being in the hotel industry for 15 years, I’m still very much in contact with some concierge internationally.  As expat wife, you have to have your antennae up all the time – yet not let the spouse see that you have your feelers up – a very tricky situation but even after being married for ages, I never let my guard down, I’m on top of things all the time.

]]> http://www.locombia.org/2012/02/buongiorno-from-italy/feed/ 0 http://www.locombia.org/2012/01/home-school-committee/ http://www.locombia.org/2012/01/home-school-committee/#comments Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:02:08 +0000 Chilli Padi http://www.locombia.org/?p=1532

Earlier this year, I decided to join the home and school committee since this is the last year of Junior school for my daughter – it’s my way of giving back to the school for helping all my kids go through all their learning years with ease.  Having said that, I also have another selfish reason because everytime I read the minutes that the home and school have – I cannot help but wonder why certain things are done the way it was especially when it comes to buying things with the funds collected from various fund raising by the students over the years.   So this year, when they needed sport trophies to me made – I decided that I would volunteer and look for a supplier that can offer quick, good and inexpensive services.   So wish me luck and help me prove to them that it really doesn’t take that long for stuff to arrive after it had been ordered and paid for.

I’ve been in Canada for so long – this must be the mildest winter ever.  We didn’t have a lot of snow like other places around Nova Scotia and I’m not complaining at all.   In fact, I’m hoping that it will continue to be spring weather right up to it is ready to change to Spring weather now that would be perfect.  We did get freezing rain and slushy the other day but not bad, bad weather, if you know what I mean.

While my youngest wants some snow – so that she can go sledding with her friends and classmates – we hope not.  We hate to disappoint her but who wants them all stuck at home with no school due to bad weather right?

The March break is just round the corner, the spouse and I decided we should stay in Canada and drive to PEI instead of going to Cuba or Mexico with the kids.  Why PEI ?  because there is just so much history there that I wanted my children to learn plus we haven’t had a driving trip for a long time.  I think with our new tomtom gps we will be fine arriving there, we’ve come to learn that having a GPS is one of the best investment one can have – because you save so much time.  The GPS shows you exactly how to get to your destination at the shortest time.   This trip the spouse seems a lot more confident because of having a GPS in our car.

Chinese New Year is just a few days away and I was thinking of eating some sticky rice cake – aka Nian Gao in Chinese.  You have to make a flour and egg batter for it and then fry it up and serve and eat it hot.  I haven’t eaten these for ages – more than 20 years I think and it does bring back lots of memories.  You see, my mom used to fry them for us when we were kids during Chinese New Year – I never liked it – till i was older and can appreciate it.

The taste is sweet and if eaten hot – it’s crispy as well.  We didn’t have very much to eat when we were kids and not a lot of luxury for anything.  While my kids are brought up with love and a lot of hugs, we were brought up to feel like we owed our parents everything.  Never would we dare raise our voices at my parents – else, we would be smacked on the face so hard or get caned till we can sit down properly for a day or two.   Fear was the word with my parents – there were no warm feeling there for them when we were kids.

But on the other hand, I too wonder, are we being too lax with our kids?  For they too like to raise their voices if they weren’t happy about something.  I try never to raise my voice at my kids – so where are they learning this from?  I don’t cane my kids – maybe I should when they were younger eh but if I did that I would be the one crying because of all the times when we were hit when we were kids and the humiliation from it.   I vowed never to teach my kids this way but didn’t they say something about spare the rod and spoil the child – and they will end up to be bad?  well something like that – so where is the balance here?   You can’t keep threatening them that you would run away if they were being rude to you  – they do grow up and realized that you ain’t going to run anywhere.

Yes, food sure brings back lots of memories – memories that I don’t really want to revisit and think that what my parents did for us when we were growing up were right – because it cannot be right to hit your kids and call them in bad names to shame them?  can it?

Sunday nights are game nights for the entire family, there will be no cleaning, no cooking and no laundry, just gaming night for the entire family – a chance for us to get together and do something together.   This had been going on for a year now and the reason why is because I decided that we all have got to be in the same room at least once a day doing the same thing and enjoying each others company – in another word – bonding.  It’s an attempt on my part to stay close together and since the spouse is very much into gaming when he is in town, I made the kids get into gaming so that they cannot complained that their dad don’t spend enough time with them.  Currently, their favorite is the call of duty modern warfare 3 xbox 360 game and even though it’s a mature game – my kids are aware that this is just a game and not to be acted upon in real life.

So what about the cleaning, laundry and cooking that day – well, my housework is done on a weekday and so is the laundry, as for the food – we order a pizza or some Chinese take out on the weekends since the kids eat in every day during weekdays.  So does the kids enjoy gaming on the xbox 360 with their dad, yes – very much and even though they mostly don’t win, they do enjoy gaming with their dad and that’s the best part of it.

Well, sometimes! because online friends can turn scary on you.  Can you have real friendship with your online friends?  I truly don’t think so – I think online friendships are pretty platonic as far as I am concern.  I had this online friend who would complain about just anyone who was doing better than she was and would try to sabotage them.  At first I trusted her opinion and even followed her blindly and dislike the people she dislike. Little did I know that the online friend had a secret agenda.  And of course, I had another online friend who seems quite an honest person but I was wrong, she kept writing to me asking me to loan her money.  Not that I don’t have any money to loan her and not that I cannot afford to lose the money but boy! the hounding for money every couple of weeks for a year can get quite scary.   So for those who have online friends, I strongly suggest you stay platonic as long as you can – you never know what the other person is thinking on the other end of the computer – for all you know that person may have horns and you can’t see it coz’ you are just online friends.

I’ve always loved Bak Kua even when I was living in Asia and now that I’m not in Asia, of course I craved for it when the Chinese New Year season is round the corner.  I think moreso during the festive season, for the Chinese New Year is a huge festival in Asia.  Someone asked me the other day if I missed home and I have to say that I missed the food more than the place.  If they had a mini Hong Kong or mini Asia in Canada, I think I’m all set.

Bak Kua comes in various flavor and sizes – many varieties to choose from and during the Chinese New Year season, folks would queue up for hours at the most popular Bak Kua store and wait for a few boxes of Bak Kua for gifts and personal consumption during Chinese New Year.  Lucky for me – the spouse travels a lot around Canada and United States, so I got my munchies for the new year from Vancouver and they are certainly not cheap at all.  about $25 for 1Ibs of meat jerky – my grandmother would have flipped.  Not everyone is as lucky as I am to be able to afford something so small and so expensive, I am really grateful for my life here in Canada and a good spouse.

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